Just A Question LPG2
by LaurelNymph
Summary: Canada thinks it's about time he and Prussia took their relationship to the next level. Prussia isn't so sure, but not for the reason you'd think. Prucan, Human Names Used, License Plate Game Challenge Two. Pure undiluted crack. You've been warned.


**A/N Another oneshot based on the license plate game. ****What you do is you look at the license plates of cars and based on the letters there, come up with pairings or situations that would explain them. They are usually crack, though sometimes you find real pairings. However, not every letter in the alphabet has a country, so my friend and I made up some special rules for letters like those. For instance, the letter V. We decided that V would stand for virgin, and it works by making any country touching it a virgin. If it's between two countries, they were both virgins. (Yes, I know we could've used Vietnam, but we don't know too much about her and the virgin rule is just more fun.)**

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Gilbert sank into Matthew's couch with a blanket, ready to enjoy a movie. It was Matthew's turn to pick so he was bent over in front of the TV trying to decide on which movie he wanted. Which gave Gilbert a wonderful view of Matthew's firm behind as he stayed bent over far longer then necessary to retrieve a DVD. Gilbert bit his lip and averted his eyes. So temping...

Matthew finally righted himself, slid a DVD into the DVD player, and joined Gilbert under the aforementioned blanket. Suddenly, Gilbert started feeling rather hot under the blanket, as Matthew was cuddled up next to him, his hand seemingly casually resting on Gilbert's thigh. He gulped again, completely unable to concentrate on the film. Eventually, he calmed down enough to start to pay attention to the movie. And that's when Matthew struck.

Gilbert groaned as Matthew pressed his body flush against his and brought their lips together. The movie completely forgotten, they stayed tangled together in their embrace, kissing each other passionately. Not entirely sure how it happened, Gilbert suddenly found himself lying on his back on the couch, Matthew hovering over him, pressing kisses against his neck. Gilbert shivered in terror.

"Gilbert," Matthew whispered against his flushed skin.

"Mattie," Gilbert squeaked, hating how high his voice was going. "What are you doing?" Matthew pulled back, looking slightly annoyed.

"What does it look like I'm doing, eh?" Gilbert gulped and chuckled nervously. Crap. How the hell was he supposed to talk himself out of this?

"Um, well, I was just thinking, you know, we haven't been dating all that long––"

"We've been dating three months," Matthew reminded him.

"You don't think that's a little…early for this?"

"You don't want to?" Matthew asked, frowning.

"No, well, yeah, but, what I mean is…" Gilbert trailed off, aware that his face was heating up at an exponential rate. "I don't wanna do something you'd regret," he said quickly, mentally patting himself on the back for coming up with such a great answer so quickly. He just might make it out of this without having to tell Matthew that he––

"It's really not a big deal," Matthew said, shrugging and cutting off Gilbert's hope that things would stop there. "I mean, it's not like I'm a virgin or anything."

Now that was a surprise.

"Really?" Gilbert couldn't help asking. Matthew shot him a strange look.

"Of course not. I'm almost seven hundred years old. You really thought I was still a virgin after that long?"

"…Kinda," Gilbert admitted. "You just look so innocent." Matthew made a slight face.

"Well, they say it's always the quiet ones."

A moment of silence passed as Gilbert digested this new and shocking information. Well, that just made things about a whole lot crappier for him. If he thought the whole situation was embarrassing before, it had just multiplied by about a thousand.

"Soo," he stretched the word out. "Just how many people have you been with?" Matthew shrugged.

"Well, not nearly as many as you, I'm sure, but I never kept count. Five hundred years is a long time to be keeping score."

Internally, Gilbert screamed. Scratch his previous statement, this situation wasn't a thousand times more embarrassing, it was _one million times more embarrassing!_ He would never live this down. Especially if Francis found out. Oh, God, he'd be the laughingstock of the entire _planet_ if that happened.

"Now that that's cleared up, d'you mind if we continue?" Matthew asked and Gilbert suddenly remembered that Matthew was still sitting on top of him on the couch. He coughed, knowing that the blush that had started dying down was flaring back up again. Shit.

"Well, Mattie, um, see the thing is," he coughed again, unsure of how to continue. Finally, he decided to just get it over with and blurted it out. "I'm still a virgin."

There was a pause.

And then another one.

And then Matthew started laughing hysterically, falling off of Gilbert and the couch with the force of his laughter. Gilbert's face burned even more and he sat up on the couch, drawing his knees up to his chest and burying his face in his hands. Fuck. That was even more embarrassing than he had imagined. And his boyfriend's laughter wasn't helping much. Matthew finally resurfaced, still laughing when he saw Gilbert and the laughter quickly died.

"Shit, Gilbert, are you serious?"

Gilbert nodded, his face still hidden. Dammit, he hated it when he started acting like a teenage girl. He was a mighty nation, or at least he had been, but here he was now, curled up in embarrassment on his boyfriend's couch because _he_ was the virgin and the younger nation was the more experienced one.

"Shut up," he finally said, noticing with horror that he had said it with a slight whine.

"Sorry," Matthew said, though Gilbert sincerely doubted that he was, since he was still smiling and trying to hold back laughter. "I just figured you'd be the one with more experience, since you're older and always yell about invading people's 'vital regions'."

Gilbert refused to dignify that with an answer.

"So how did that happen, anyway?" Gilbert sighed.

"Look, you're a much more peaceful nation, so you wouldn't understand what I went through. I was always fighting or training for war, and that doesn't really leave a lot of leisure time."

"Still," Matthew said, shaking his head. "That's so weird. You really didn't have enough time to––"

"I don't wanna finish this conversation!" Gilbert insisted, his blush rearing up again as he jumped up from the couch and walked a few feet away from the still-laughing Canadian.

"Aww, it's okay, Gilbert," Matthew said patronizingly as he followed Gilbert and wrapped his arms around him from behind. "I promise I'll be gentle with you~."

Gilbert broke out of his grasp and glared at him.

"Shut up!" he ordered, stomping one foot in a Poland-esque fashion, instantly regretting it as it only made the laughter Matthew was trying to hold back erupt again. "I'm sleeping on the couch tonight!" he wailed before running upstairs. Matthew's laughter finally died down again and he looked down to see his polar bear, who had just walked into the room.

"Oh, well, Kumacrunchy," he said out loud. "There's always tomorrow night, eh?"

"Who?"

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**A/N Yeah, so the license plate said "VPC" which meant the P was a virgin and the C was taking away P's virginity. Being both a staunch Prucan shipper and a crack lover, this monstrosity was born. I hope it at least entertained you mildly.**


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